Oh no no, you misunderstood! In my last post when I mentioned “family”, I was not talking about my immediate family. I do have a lot of my bad days with my parents but they definitely do not contribute to my depression. They love me for me (the good and bad side). Period.
When I mentioned the word “family” in my last post, I was referring to my relatives back in the Philippines. Although they are miles away from me, they still manage to make me feel like shit even when I’m not physically in their presence. They honestly look down upon me because I’m … I guess you can say I’m different from them. They always openly criticized and judged me in front of my parents. They made fun of the way I felt and almost made me believe that my feelings were unimportant because I have it ‘easy’.. considering that I live in America. & when I would try to express how I’ve been wanting mental help and treatment, they just told me to suck it up and deal with it. They said and did much more to inflict pain upon me but I’m not going to go on a whole story about it. So that’s basically why I try to cut off contact from them. They are also part of the reason why I’m not close to much of my family. At all.
Thanks for your concern
My sister in law has only been here for a little over a month and I feel really comfortable talking to her about almost anything. We talked about how messed up we think a lot of our relatives back in the Philippines are. Trust me when I say that a lot of our “family” makes us feel miserable, and they don’t really take our feelings into consideration. Talking about this topic ended up having us in tears. I did not cry full on for three months up until today. When I mentioned the various instances when my relatives treated me like garbage, I just reached my breaking point. Just remembering all of those horrible moments made me feel as if I was reliving it. Although visiting this topic with my sister in law made me an overemotional cry baby, it was nice to know that I wasn’t alone when it came to the way I felt about my relatives.
And in addition to having a conversation about our family, we had the typical girl to girl conversation concerning boys, boyfriends, ex-boyfriends.. that sorta stuff, haha. I honestly loved talking to her. I just need a good and meaningful conversation once in a while.
attractive person: how are you today?
me: who the fuck paid you
My mini (but seemingly big in this picture) whole wheat bagel wagel with scallion cream cheese. Not the best breakfast ever but whatevs.